On a Lighter Note

Instructions for stuffing a cat in a box.

First of all consider carefully your reasons for wanting to do this - moving house and vet visits might be the only things worth the effort.

You will need a cat box, a cat, a seven year old and every ounce of patience you possess.

1. Note that the door on the cat box is only for show - you will never get the cat through it.

2. Remember that the cat may have grown since you last put him in the box - but persevere.

3. Open up the wrong end of the cat box, have seven year old retrieve cat from hiding place, tell her to put cat in the box.

4. Try again.

5. Open up the wrong end of the cat box, have seven year old retrieve cat from hiding place and hand cat to you, have her hold open cat box, stuff cat in through hole. No matter how much you love this cat, remember that you have to get him in the box, do not relent in the stuffing motion.

6. Reassure seven year old that cat will move tail before you shut it in the box.

7. Reaffix door which cat has knocked loose.

8. Do not explain the meaning of the word you just used to seven year old when she asks.

9. Hold carrier firmly and remember that this hissing monster is your cat. Clip, clips.

10. Make seven year old mad when you explain that cat will not enjoy swinging inside the box at great speed.

There you have it, cat in box!