Doubt

Having recently watched the movie of the same name I am pondering this subject. If you haven't seen the film I recommend it - not for its answers but for its questions. Do you assume wrongdoing? What leads you to your supposition? Everything in the movie is circumstantial and open to interpretation - there are no definitive answers and so the characters move from peace to chaos fueled by their doubts in each other and in a system which seems to support only some. Push the story just a little in any direction and you have a piece which is played in black or white but this whole movie is in the grey of human interaction.

I was always taught that doubt is not a sin, it is a normal human reaction - I think I am still there with that but have realized that what we do with our doubts is vital. Doubt has the nasty habit of turning into other things very quickly so the question "why does God allow.....?" (fill in the blank) can very quickly turn into anger at God or plain old disbelief.

Doubt causes us to ask questions - perhaps even pushes us to the point of change, action or understanding. But without the interaction with other people, without constant prayer, doubt is of no use and may be of some harm.

So what do we do with our doubts? Do we voice them? Do we share them? Or do we hide them away and feel overpowered by them? This last is where sin comes into the equation - hiding doubts is hiding ourselves and if we hide ourselves from God (or try to) then we are lying.

The plot of the movie is so carefully crafted that there is no single point where the characters can escape from each other and the cascade of events - the only really pivotal moment is one where doubt is pushed to certainty by a character but though internal reasoning not evidence. I have some sympathy for this. Gut feelings are important - but so is community.

We have come a long way in understanding functions of community - but doubt is a part of all of our lives - it was not for nothing that John of the Cross wrote of Dark Nights of the Soul - it is part of life - but a part which we should work with, not against - lest it become frighteningly dark or we lose sight that there will be a dawning.