Would i join the C of E?

This was the question I set myself to answer today – and of course it is impossible. I suspect if I had no connection with an organization which was quite so discriminatory and I was looking in from the outside I might not take a second look – but of course, I am not.
Much has been said about the recent vote in Synod harming mission, and of course that is no doubt true, but sometimes that feels a little bit like “Oh at last, we have a reason to give up on the dying beast” talk. Mission is highly relational, it is about people who believe in Jesus tell others about their faith and in that person to person conversation it will become very clear that individual Christians who attend their parish churches week by week have not been lobotomised to do so.
There is real struggle and I am very tempted to run away screaming but there are also things of great value in the Church of England. You don’t have to look too far in most communities to see the very real benefits which the Church offers in terms of community work and support.
I cannot answer the question as to whether I would join as i no longer really understand the what the mechanism of the words and worship which I value looks like to someone who is not immersed in it.
Someone jokingly said I should set up a new denomination the other day – but would any of us do very much better. Yes we would cure the headline issues – and this would be a good thing – but it would not be long before that nasty little thing called being human crept in and by power, or interest or lack of care started rocking the boat.
I am embarrassed to be a member of a church which discriminates on the basis of gender and sexuality. I do not like having the love of God judged by these things and I know that many people have ceased to name God because of the behaviour of those who do.
I have no idea whether I would join, I suspect not – but the question is, is running away the best option?