Could we live like this?

Could we live like this?

The theme of this sermon could well have been chalk and and cheese with readings about both Peter and Paul, the two great named apostles of the New Testament who, in many ways could not have been more different but between them present a pericope of discipleship. One, Peter called from the beginning of Jesus ministry, with Jesus throughout His earthly ministry, Jesus right hand man at the end, if sometimes bumbling and careless. And Paul – a persecutor of the Christian Church who is convicted by a mystical experience as he journeys in his fury. Paul the Jew of Jews and yet called to minister to the Gentiles. Peter in the tight core of the twelve and working out of Jerusalem.

They are chalk and cheese and in odd proportions. But the question I want us to think about today is could we live like this? Could we live like what? - you say. Like apostles? – well yes but more specifically like those who have met the risen Christ – not just as Peter and Paul – who were, after all Peter and Paul – but as who we are here and now. An There is a praise song by Matt Redmon which paraphrases the question I am asking very well:

Could we live like Your grace is stronger
Than all our faults and failures?
Could we live like Your love
Is deeper than our hearts can fathom
Could we live like this?

Could we live like Your name is higher
Than every other power?
Could we live like Your ways
Are wiser than our understanding?
Could we live like this?
Could we live like this?

The name of the song is – we could change the world – and the story of the text is we can change the world because God is exactly what God says God is on the packet – and the packet, of course, is Jesus.

It is no exaggeration to say that both Peter and Paul led world changing lives but in a way which left them vulnerable and, ultimately, physically desolate. These men who must have been brilliant in themselves, capable of all sorts of things for themselves, what was it that made them turn around and join God's kenosis, God's outpouring – remember we read the Jesus did not cling to equality with God but poured Himself out. Paul talks about being a libation – being poured out – this utter letting go and offering of self seems almost impossible but it is what we are called to.

For both men it starts by owning up to who they have been, who they really are. In Chapter 21 of John Peter goes off fishing. It is he who jumps out of the boat and runs to the shore (falling into the water reminiscent of baptism, of course), it is he who hauls the net ashore and it is the conversation with Peter which John records in detail.

John is never careless in his writing and Jesus does not say things three times by accident. Think back to that scene around the fire in the courtyard of the High Priest. Do you know the man they ask? I do not says Peter, I do not and I do not. Do you love me Peter, asks Jesus – yes Lord, you know I do, you know I do, you know I do - and this time the breaking dawn is greeted not with a cockrel but with an affirmation - feed my sheep. And then in an astonishing act of commission Jesus passes his mantle – truly, truly (amen, amen – John's catchphrase for “pay attention to this” - and “amen, amen “ Jesus says in chapter 13, “I tell you before the cock crows.....) Amen, Amen he says to Peter – you will be taken, you will be poured out.

The story of the Damascus Road is dramatic and well known. We can easily assume that Paul went from the house of Ananias off to Jerusalem and then immediately started his missionary journeys – in fact he did not. He went away for several years before commencing the great mission which is written about in Acts. Paul did not have that background of walking with Jesus that Peter did – when Peter is forgiven and commissioned it is against a background of pieces of the puzzle about Jesus which will slot into place, words, times experiences. When Paul is converted he is turned from but to be truly turned towards and to learn to walk with Jesus he will have to journey a little further.

Paul must go to Jerusalem – it is in the schematic which Lukes give for mission, from Jerusalem, through Judea and to the ends of the Earth. Paul is schooled by the Apostles but he soon finds himself in conflict with the Greeks – and what happens then? – he gets sent home like a naughty school boy. Paul is not yet who he will be – his energy is still of someone in battle, of someone assured of self and self rightness - he has just switched sides. Peter and the Apostles have learned this lesson, know that he needs to learn to be a disciple and sent him off to learn in a place where he cannot do them or himself so much damage.

Paul, needs to learn what this really means. He needs to enter more fully into that journey of abandonment of selfishness and embracing of true self. He needs time to get to know Jesus, to learn who this voice that has called him on the road actually is. He needs to come to terms with that within him which has driven him to such hatred – to learn to accept the forgiveness and welcome he has been offered. He needs to learn to be a disciple before he can take on the task and mantle of apostle.

There is a very real sense at the end of John that the mystic has come down off the mountain. The disciples are in the sacrament of daily life, getting on with what they so, and it is here that they encounter the Lord. Paul has to learn this new resurrection way of living as someone who is truly free because he is truly forgiven.

There is a lot of criticism of Christians that we spend too much time naval gazing. This is fair – we like the sound of our own voices too much sometimes, we snag ourselves up and trip ourselves over in our own tedious arguments and suspend ourselves with our wretched cleverness. We are like Peter full of good ideas and hot air, failing to stop and wonder, we are like Paul militant and walking around and kicking up just and conflict, failing to stop and listen.

What would that look like. If God is who God says God is – if God behaves the way God behaved in Jesus? This massive and amazing story which has been laid out before you like gold covered pavements over the past few weeks – what if that is true – what difference does it make – what do you see, how do you sit or walk or stand in the light of a resurrection which, quite literally, bathes you in light. How is our response one of total honesty and total release and handing over – of pouring out of self at the feet of Christ. Of course this Eucharist is central – here we offer all that we have and all that we are – what do hearts that are lifted up look like, what do lives who reflect the presence of God feel like.

The end of the song has us standing in love and grace and power

“And all You say we are” And the only way to know this – to know who God says we are is to spend time listening.

Peter and Paul abandoned their own narratives and emptied themselves out in the story of who God said they were. God calls us each to that same action of abandoning the selfish and finding the self – but really – could we live like this?