Confession

Most of us know what it feels like to step out of the shower and feel nice and clean. We might not notice it so much if we are in a world where daily showers are the norm - but we certainly notice it when we have been working outside, or exercising and we feel grimey - "That's better!" we might say to ourselves as we step into a dry towel and wonder what we will get up to next.
What we will get up to next will almost certainly involve some element of dirt - especially if we are living with other people. The cup of tea creates a tea bag which needs to go in the bin, the children have created a stack of dirty dishes in the past ten minutes (since you left for the shower), the dog has got into the recycling and there is soggy cardboard on the floor - you get it.
Sacramental confession, to me, is like that shower after a long slogging day in the fields. I pick up grime and dirt - much of it because I am stubborn, or lazy or simply human. I was brought up in a tradition which valued this sacrament, not as something which I should "save" for when I had done something heinous, but as a regular and routine part of life - a good clean up now and then.
Sin is an unpopular word, of course, but it is just a cover word for all those things which we do which damage our relationship with God, which cause us to walk at a distance from Christ and which distort that image of Divine Beauty which we all carry. We all sin, as sure as we breathe. We can analyze why, we can claim it is not our fault, or not fair, or that it is just too miserable to think about. It does not make it any less real.
Of course a lot of damage has been done by folk who want us to wallow in our guilt and feel bad about ourselves (often so they can feel better about themselves!). That is not what this is about. As a Church we confess our sins corporately almost every week in Church - the language is familiar and powerful. But the idea of confession to a priest has become reserved in many people's minds for some sort of red letter sins - which, of course, usually includes sex.
I am not saying that everyone should avail themselves of the Sacrament of Penance - the Episcopal Church and Church of England always say that "all can, none must, some should." Rather, that whilst Sacramental Confession can, indeed, be used at times when people are in crisis because of extraordinary behavior - its main and routine use is much more mundane (and boring for the Confessor) - that is, because it requires a solid and thorough self-examination it is a good way of getting a really good shower. It is a discipline which I wish more people would take up - there is nothing like repeating the same sins time after time - out loud, to make you realize that you have things to work on and to realize, in the words of absolution, God's absolute and unquestioning love and extreme patience.
Despite the best efforts of Christian tradition to grade our sins according to their eternal consequences the simple fact is that the devastation of any action which separates us from the love of God in Christ is real and that is enough. We do not need a better or worse - that is for the legal system. The Church is in the business of reconciliation and not judgement.
I wish that more folk would avail themselves of the opportunity for individual confession as a spiritual discipline - it can be really helpful - not because corporate confession is not good enough but because it is a powerful gift forcing us to look at ourselves before God in all our vulnerability and weakness and then experience a powerful gush of clean as we are assured of forgiveness and mercy. To me, it is not miserable at all, but affirming and life promoting.