Quiet Day meditation 1

Mary in the Temple

The days have gone so quickly, I can barely believe we are here. It is all a bit of a blur. My mother said it would be. Once she was talking to me again, of course.

I thought she was going to stay mad for ever when I first told her. I heard her crying in the night but then something happened, she suddenly calmed down – perhaps the angel came to her as well because she started looking after me then. She would brush my hair and sing to me like she did when I was tiny. She was scared when we left for Bethlehem, but we are all more scared of being found in the wrong place by the soldiers than we are of an eighty mile journey.

That was hard, everything ached. Joseph was great, but it was long and hot and then when we got there there was nowhere to go and it was so crowded. I worried for a while that I would end up having the baby in an alley, the cowshed was a relief.

And then here we are in Jerusalem. I remember when we came here when I was younger and I watched all those parents coming in here, the tiny babies, the tiredness on their faces shot through with happiness that it was their time, their turn. I imagined this then. Not like this, of course. Sometimes I imagined a rich husband, a merchant who came through the village and noticed me singing as I worked. Sometimes I imagined a fisherman, we might never be hungry then, at least. But then when I was betrothed to Joseph I imagined he and I walking in here with our child, a girl I thought, perhaps.

And now we are here with this child, with our little Jesus. Joseph has been amazing, he has never left my side except to get food and water for us. I think he is in love, even though this is not his child. I was worried he might run away, but he said he saw the angel too – he said God asked him to do this. If he has any worries about it, he is not letting them show.

The Temple has always impressed me. It is huge and loud, there are people everywhere and the traders selling the things we need for the sacrifice. But this is our place, the Roman soldiers leave us alone in here, they think of it as superstition, an inferior religion to all their gods and their Emperor. This is the place where we gather, the place where we are a people and I can be proud.

Of course, we do not mention the angel to anyone. We are just a young couple with a new baby, doing what all young couples with new babies do.

As I look around I see the prophets and the holy ones. Some of them are in little groups, talking. Others look half crazed, some of these people have nowhere else to be and they live off the charity of pilgrims but some of them look like they might be able to reach out and touch God, they have such peace in their eyes.

“Is this Him?” The voice startles me. It is an old man. “Yes it is, isn’t it. I have been waiting.” I draw nearer to Joseph who instinctively pulls me to his side. This feels good to me, not to be alone here. “No, no don’t be afraid,” the old man says and smiles gently. I look at him, he has those peaceful eyes.

“Who are you?” I ask.

“My name is Simeon, “ he replies and I have been waiting for you. This is odd, but this whole thing is odd. A year ago I would have run and reported him to the Temple guard, but now I hold out my baby to him. He smiles and cradles his head, but does not take him from me.

“I can go in peace now,” he says, “ O God, your word has been fulfilled.” He continues his prayer, his eyes looking alternately to heaven and to Jesus. His peaceful eyes are now on fire with wonder. He touches my arm,

“Your child is special, you know that?” he asks. I nod. “He will be the cause of the rise and fall of many.” I am not sure what this means but I try to nod and smile at him. I know what he is saying is important. Then his face darkens a little,

“Oh my dear child,” he is talking to me, “a sword will pierce you heart too. I am so sorry.” I feel Joseph’s arm on mine, he is ready to steer me away, to keep me safe. But I am not frightened by this old man, I am not sure what he means, but although his words seem hard, I feel like it will be alright, somehow. I look at him and nod before Joseph steers me off into the crowd.

There is another person, a woman this time. She too is really excited to see my baby. Two witnesses Joseph said later. I don’t know where he got that from, but he is probably right. Two witnesses, the legal amount required for truth to be established.

We go ahead and make the sacrifice, go through the ritual but all the time my head is full of these people and their words. Full of their love and their kindness. Simeon’s warning sits with me, but somehow, when I look at the face of this baby, of my little Jesus, I think I know that there is so much more to come – good and bad and  that I will survive all of it.

I am not sure what God’s plan is. I am sure I will have days, like I did when I was pregnant, where I want to run away because things are painful – but today I feel at peace.