Laying Down

I can never read Psalm 42 without hearing the Herbert Howells anthem "Like as the Hart" which is a setting of its words. I always enjoyed the soaring, if slightly overstated, music - typically victorian. I miss singing. I used to sing a lot - and I mean a lot. I was good at it but like many things when you stop doing it all the time you get rusty.

Church choir singing was a wonderful introduction to the community and vagueries of Church life. I would never have imagined not singing in the choir but somehow sitting up so close to the altar every week was magnetic to me and the call to serve there grew louder and louder. Eventually I laid down my blue choir robes for black clergy ones - mostly without regret but sometimes - when I hear a favorite piece of music a get a twinge of sentiment for the old days of the choir stalls.

This rhythm of laying down and picking up in life is one that some of us are very good at and some of us are not. Laying down is something we have to do - we cannot just hoard every part of our lives endlessly - we simply do not have time and energy to do everything all the time. Sometimes we let go of things for a while, sometimes permanently.

"When shall I come to appear before the presence of God?" this is a question asked in the anthem - thinking about this might help put our attachments - whatever they are, in perspective - the presence of God. Imagine standing in the presence of God with sixteen suitcases and being worried about them and out of breath and thinking about the floor and where to put things - or imagine standing in the presence of God free from burden and raising your arms in adoration.

Letting go, laying down, taking as it comes, even returning sometimes can be a hard path - because we like insurance and certainty - but this is not the path we are called to tread. The path of carry everything is a burdened path, we are called to a path of trust - handing to Christ and drinking from the well of life - not carrying a cooler with us.